Yes!

How's this for the coolest color combination ever?

New Stuff

The last one looks eerily like Christ on the cross huh? That was not my intention but now that's all I can see. I was planning on cutting the ends of those dowels off so that they are flush with the heads, but maybe I won't.

Attack of the Three Foot Teddy Bear

Its 5:30am and I'm still here at school, sitting at my desk. Time to go home for an hour or so, then come back for more. Maybe I will sleep some on the bus.

Sometimes Drawings = Money (Not My Drawings Though)

My friend Amber sent me this and it made me laugh. Not entirely sure where it originated from, but someone out there is a genius.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached





From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th.
David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.





From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding.
We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

More Bear Sketches

Guess What This Post is About? Not Bears, That's for Sure.

How does this sound as a potential title for these illustrations?
Number One Threat to America:
(with nothing after the colon, at least on the cover, because I think that's clever)
Stephen Colbert has already taught us all what the number one threat to America is, but maybe he's wrong, maybe its zombies, or killer clowns, OR maybe even apathy. Apathy is probably a big one.

"Benny" The Anatomical Teddy®

From American 3B Scientific

The teddy contains especially finely crafted removable organs some of which can be fastened with a Velcro strip. This gives the patient a better understanding of their own body.
Some of the organs in and on the teddy are provided with a Velcro strip: Ears with auditory canals, 2 tonsils, windpipe, heart, lung, liver, gall bladder, spleen, digestive system with oesophagus; stomach, bowels, appendix, anus, pancreas, urinary system; kidney, ureter, refillable bladder, urethra with an exit for catherisation or bladder x-ray.

• The zipper on the stomach can be opened from the top or bottom and simulates an operation of the abdomen and chest
• The bones of the legs and arms can be demonstrated by opening the zippers
• Spine, chest and ribs are palpable
• Artificial blood (in the form of fruit tea) can be put into 2 tubes in the arm and hand andwithdrawn with a cannula
  

Benny is washable and his fur is made of a flame retardant polyester fiber which gives him an extra soft and fluffy touch.
He is used mainly in doctors’ offices, hospitals, schools, kindergartens etc.



All this can be yours if the price is right. And the right price is a mere $229.

Teddy Rides the H-Train version 2.0, and a Vectorized Fat Ass Teddy

Maybe I should stop posting every little thing I do? I like these guys though, so and I wanted to share. After working with the line weight on these two I've decided that Cyborg Teddy sucks - he's definitely going to need a lot of reworking.

Cybear. 2nd Draft. Because I'm Bored.

I'm trying to figure out how to operate the gradient tool in Illustrator. I've never really had any reason to use it before.

It's a lot less intuitive than I would have thought.

Anyway, I'm liking how this one is coming together. I did away with the black stroke that I've been using and I'm trying to rely on color and shading (I realize that the lighting and shadows probably don't make sense in this image yet - it's a work in progress).

Cyborg, Alien Invasion, and Undead Teddy

Here are a very more bear sketches for your amusement.

It seems like this whole idea is starting to leave the fine art realm (if it were ever there to begin with) and is drifting towards...I dunno.......doodles during high school biology class? These three are a definite departure from my original concept of teddy bears on the fringes of society. I guess these guys would fit better under "teddy bears in sci-fi 'B' movies."

Fuck it. I'm having fun. I'll figure out how to defend them against the wine-drinking, beret-wearin' types later.

Suppose now I should vectorize a few of these guys and see how that goes.

Sometimes Desperate Times Call For the Use of Overwhelming Force

The title of this blog has nothing to do with the content; I just thought it had a nice ring to it. It should definitely be the title of something.

Another Weird Bear Poster by Moi

I'm considering doing a whole series of these. Maybe I'll call it "Teddy Bears on the Fringes of Society." Or something to that affect. Just imagine teddy bears stabbing each other outside of night clubs, having sex with each other in public bathrooms, and cooking Crystal Meth in their trailers. Lately I've just been obsessed with subverting the image of the teddy bear. Its this amazing piece of Americana that no one really questions. To me its already a perverse icon; I mean think about it, we take an apex predator, an animal that's be known to eat humans alive, and we make plush versions of them for our children to play with. So I'm just taking it one step further. I'm just making the perversion a little more obvious.

As far as the actual illustrations go, I'm still unsure. I think the two I've done so far are a little plain. It seems like they need to be more stylized - I want them to be really eye catching. Maybe colored pencil? Maybe watercolor? I don't know. I feel like I really need to challenge myself this year, and since drawing (both freehand and computer aided) has never been something that I've been particularly good at, thats what I want to focus on. I really want to be able to draw better.

And if these go as well as I want them to I want to make a book. Maybe 20-30 illustrations; part children's book, part coffee table book, a little humorous, a lot perverse. I'm thinking 8x10 hardback. I've been looking into it a little. It's not cheap to have books made.

Thoughts?

Felt Teddy Bear Skulls by UO Alum Stephanie Metz

I came across Stephanie Metz's website earlier this month and found myself captivated by her work in felt. It's beautiful and hilarious and creepy all at the same time. I can't say enough good things about it. stephaniemetz.com

More Headless Bears

I watched "In Bruge" last night and it was pretty darn good. So good in fact that I decided to watch all the special features too (which I rarely do any more). Anyway, there was one particular deleted scene that I found especially interesting:

Colin Farrell is walking around Bruge, alone and drunk, when he sees a teddy bear sitting on a bench. He sits down next to the bear, smiles at it, and hands the bear his beer. When he does the bear's head falls off and plops into the canal behind them. Then Farrell just sits there looking confused and sad.

It was hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. Or maybe it was just really late at night and I thinking too deeply about it.

I'm reminded of a warm summer day during my childhood when.....
OH MY GOD TRAVIS MADE A WEIRD POSTER!!