I Just Met God on the Bus

I just had one of the most bizarre bus riding experiences of my life.

I get on at my usual downtown stop, and at the next stop these two cats get on and sit down at the back of the bus, by me. The second their butts hit the seats one of them starts talking to me with such a thick Irish accent that I can barely understand what he's saying. And being the consummate American gentleman that I am I smile and listen politely. But the conversation quickly goes from "how's your night going?" and "good night for a Guiness" to "28 days in a lunar cycle, which is roughly equivalent to a woman's menstrual cycle, so the Catholic church is hiding the fact that woman are the original beings of the universe, etc, etc....etc."

The entire 45 minute bus ride these very excitable characters talked nonstop about numerology and photons, and epochs, and original beings, and spiritual quadrants of the universe and so on. And normally I would just chalk an experience like this up to schizophrenia, or drug abuse, or general weakmindedness, but these two guys were incredibly intelligent. I mean really, really smart - I don't even know the definitions of half the words that were crashing out of their mouths at 90 mph. So basically I was sitting next to two drunk, schizophrenic mathemeticians who were super excited about being alive. At one point the older guy basically claimed to be some kind of god, or maybe even THE God, I was a little unclear about that. They almost had me convinced that they might be some sort supreme beings too, but then it occurred to me that their Irish accents had completely evaporated. And why would gods lie about being Irish?

Crazy fuckers almost had me sold on their numbers cult. Almost.

I really wish I would have had a tape recorder with me.